One thing's for certain....and that's nothing is certain, except I make mistakes....lots of them. Sometimes my brain cramps, takes a short vacation, gets numbed out on the monotony or pain of life and I go where angels fear to tread. Crown me queen of fools. I drop the pearls of my life before swine and cry when they get crushed. With my tear-stained face I look up at my heavenly father and ask him to make it all right....and for some reason He doesn't leave me....never.
I'm blessed beyond measure to have my beautiful child and most likely not for the reason you'd expect. Sure....I'm proud she rocks grades, has a tender heart, is beautiful on the inside and out.....but the biggest blessing she brings is understanding how God loves his children....and He does loves us....really, truly.... I look at her and know she isn't perfect...that she will wake up grouchy and be oh-so-lovely-to-be-around...but that doesn't stop me from loving her....forgiving her. Sure, she'll suffer some consequences of her actions and others might be hurt along the way. But I will be there for her...always am....her biggest cheerleader...ready to celebrate victory over whatever she was up against. She asked me once how come I love her so...am proud of her when she screws up. That's a mystery even to me, but I know somehow, somewhen God was knitting her together inside me, He changed me too....and I will never be the same. I knew it the first instant she made a sound at night and a switch flipped in my heart and I sat straight up in bed....God let me be worthy of the trust you placed in me with her.
Even so....God loves me more. I am not worthy to be called daughter, but He loves me anyway. Heavenly beings hear my cries at night and the Comforter comes.... Angels stand guard over me in my weakened state and my Savior sweeps up the dust of my broken dreams and hands them to the Father....I am not alone. My father hears me....forgives me.....loves me and sends incredible blessings I don't deserve. Forgiveness.....yes, my Father forgives me and I'm grateful.
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